Fight for the degree

　　Thu.May.17 2007

　　I knew I did bad in the exam, Management and Organizational Theory, but
never imagine it could be so bad, and only got 40 for my answer. In that case,
even I got 60 in the assignment part, I still failed the core course in the
first semester.

　　I need 2 more score to pass. It means I have to resit. If I pass, no matter
how high the score I got in the resit, I would just got 50 on the final performance
list. If I failed again, I won't get the degree.

　　Woo ，now, my life is completed.

　　I send the message to my supervisor. He said it is a positive way to look
at the issue. Yes, actually, it is the only way I could think of to face the
fact and do not scare myself.

　　It is my first time to fail in the final exam for any course, and it seems
I am the only one who failed in the exam. But it is OK, I already have a lot
of first time experience in Oxford. It is just one more.

　　However, the real problem is it has been a long time, 4 months, since
I learned those complex theories, I almost forget all of them. What is more,
I could not say I understand all of them even at that time.

　　Yes, that is the problem. I did not understand what I learned in that
course clearly, or put it in another way, I did not learn much from that course.

　　But nothing to regret, I have tried my best. The score of the practicle
work is not so bad. The key is I need to learn how to prepare exam in short
time and write down as more as possible in the 3 hours exam.

　　Life is not easy. I could say it now.

　　I am not a genius. I always know.

　　Never give up. I must figure out how.

　　I always find it hard to express myself in English, even in the case such
as now, with strong emotion. I should have a lot of words to say, if I am
using Chinese. It is a problem, although it could be understood.

　　Friends are worried about me when I tell them I failed.

　　Yes, I tell them. I tell anybody who is important to me or who cares about
it. It is just like I show my hurt in public. I am not sure why I do it. Maybe
I wish it would release my pain. Because if I could tell others about it calmly,
it would be nothing serious to me. Strange logic. But it is me.

　　Always look for the joy in life. It is my motto. I would stick on it.

　　Now, I have one more exam to prepare. Yes, it would be tough. But that
does not mean I should have less laughter and smile.

　　It is sunny today. I should appreciate it.


                                   

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